The Misery of a Genius

Alicia’s Story

(This Name has been changed for anonymous purposes)

A couple of years ago my mother talked to me about Alicia, one of her friend’s daughters. Since Alicia was a little kid she had always been curious and thirsty for learning, making her stand out from her peers and receive constant praise from her teachers and parents. She excelled at every subject and was usually top of her class giving her the right path to becoming an amazing doctor as was her dream. As Alicia grew up, nevertheless, something changed within her. She was still bright and curious but her energy appeared to be sucked away from her; she no longer had the motivation to learn or study, regardless of how much she loved it and how much she knew what she did was wrong.

At age 16, Alicia was addicted to marijuana and diagnosed with clinical depression. Her grades became lower than average, making her become years behind in her studies and obstructing her entrance to universities at 18. No one understood what had happened for years until Alicia, after changing psychologists multiple times, was diagnosed with ‘giftedness’.

To Be Gifted

The term ‘gifted’ is very often used to describe those individuals who are more intellectually able or that are particularly talented in creative areas such as music and art, however this condition goes way beyond being cognitively more capable. To be gifted is to have a different brain wiring; to process the world around you differently, to learn differently, to make unique associations and to think differently. The very name of the condition ‘giftedness’ makes it seem a blessing but in reality only damages the perception ordinary people have in these individuals for, being gifted can actually be argued to be more of a curse.

The Gift

From a very young age, gifted individuals will stand out in the classroom for their ability to get perfect reports and understand more abstract concepts without having to apply, if any, effort. This is due to a brain-wired sensitivity towards the comprehension and acquisition of information. However, this sensitivity can quickly become a problem in many areas of one’s life.

Due to the ability to understand information at once, gifted people will quickly become bored, causing them to become unfocused and restless in the classroom. This boredom is not only frequent in academic environments but also in social ones since gifted individuals will see themselves become uninterested in their peers, who are most of the time intellectually slower. This uncontrollable indifference creates a noticeable rift between the gifted and those who are supposed to be their equals, often creating feelings of alienation. These only grow with time, especially during adolescence when peers start falling into distinct social groups where the gifted don't seem to fit into.

This same previously mentioned brain-wired susceptibility also causes gifted individuals to be hypersensitive, meaning they process their internal and external environment to a degree beyond neurotypical capacity. The gifted are constantly processing information and, thus, thinking meaning their mind is never at rest. Harsh lights, loud sounds and big crowds are unbearable while emotions are extreme, intense, and reactive, which can be extremely overstimulating.

To this we must yet add a natural sense for perfectionism in such individuals for they are high-achievers. Gifted people have a very big tendency towards applying extremely high standards on their performance at just about anything they do, whether it is placing first in a piano competition or scoring 100% in their maths exam. Due to their hypersensitivity, these individuals will process not achieving such unattainable goals or any form of criticism as them being a failure, which incidentally makes them more prone towards anxiety and distress.

Substance Consumption: Emotional Instability

Considering the features of a gifted mind we may find many different reasons why teenagers with such a condition may fall into substance consumption. One of the biggest reasons is to dull sensitivity. Gifted individuals experience emotions to a higher degree; at times of simple happiness they can feel euphoric, while at times of disappointment they can feel completely melancholic. Moreover, such susceptibility to change and stimuli makes them less adapted to the crowded and cluttered condition of modern life.

Additionally, some studies have shown that gifted teenagers are more likely to experience sudden bursts and sprouts of existential depression. This kind of depression arises when an individual confronts the basic issues of existence such as death, isolation, freedom, and the meaninglessness of life. Due to their ability to comprehend abstract philosophical concepts, as compared to their peers, and the amount of substantial thought and reflection taking place in their minds, gifted teens may find themselves overwhelmed with intense emotions created from the idea that there is a lack of meaning in living for long periods of time.

These wavering and unstable emotions can be overstimulating and hard to endure. Seeking depressant drugs as are cannabis and alcohol can help repress intense emotions and existential thoughts till the point of numbness, which is often preferred over unpredictability in anxious minds. This is obviously a double-knife, for it becomes impossible for this individual to feel happy or satisfied and makes them more prone to develop severe over dependence and addiction, since they start associating their mood and slight inconveniences with substance consumption. This kind of coping mechanism becomes self-destructive and will have an effect on other areas of the teenager’s life such as their studies, which will further cause frustration and disappointment creating a never ending cycle.

Substance Consumption: A Sense of Belonging

Gifted people feel alienated from their peers not only due to boredom but also because there is a certain rejection from neurotypical minds towards neurodivergent ones. Someone who is overly intelligent and thinks in patterns that one cannot possibly imagine is quite intimidating when experienced in real time. Alcohol and cannabis can, thus, become quite important for gifted teens when social interaction is required making them more inclined into developing drug dependency. These substances can help mask their clear differences in personality traits, such as their overexcitability, as well as make the boring under stimulating conversations easier to endure. This will overall make the alienated teen feel more socially accepted and allow them to ‘fit in’, even though addiction and all its consequences come as a price.

Final Comments on Misdiagnosis

As of today, ‘giftedness’ is not recognised as its own condition in the DSM-5, which is the official reference book for the diagnosis of mental health conditions and disorders. This makes it quite easy for professionals to misdiagnose gifted patients with depression or anxiety, which does not consider the root of the problem i.e the patients’ neurodivergence.

An early diagnosis of such a condition is crucial in a gifted teenager’s development for it will allow them to, one, properly understand themselves and their needs, and, two, learn how to control their emotions and avoid self-destructive behaviour. Assisting regular therapy sessions under the correct diagnosis will ensure that proper guidance of their neurodivergent mind in a neurotypical world is being provided by a professional.

Misdiagnosis is, thus, quite critical and can be dangerous so it is important to eliminate misconceptions and prejudice of giftedness through the spread of awareness.

Going back to Alicia, once she was diagnosed with giftedness and with the proper guidance, she was able to quit marijuana and retake her studies allowing her, at 20 years old, to enter one of Spain’s top universities to study neuroscience, which is now her devotion.

By Elena Calatayud (Year 13)